[Borrowed words from Kathy Nelson's Sisters calendar 2008]

Give your sister the correct footwear, and she’ll conquer the world.

The best thing about having a sister is knowing that you always have a friend.

What sis says: “We need to look for new clothes!”
What sis means: “I want to borrow your cute new shirt”

Sister Rules: “Thou shall not photograph me while I’m colouring my hair!”

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship – Iris Murdoch

You know you’re the younger sister when…Your parents announce you have no curfew!

You should never look down on a sister except to pick her up.

Sisters believe in you unconditionally.

Sisters may share the same traditions, holidays and family times, but their memories of the same family events are often so very different!

Intuitively she seems to understand my every need…including my need to borrow her clothes!

Sisters are the people that know all about you and still put up with you!

Laughing with your sisters is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.

You know you’re the older sister when…You let her win the fight even though she’s wrong.

Little sisters are reminders that wishes come true!

God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends!

Intuitively she seems to understand my every need…including my need for some serious retail therapy with her!

Sisters are like different volumes of one book.

You know you’re the younger sister when…you don’t need to buy any makeup. Your older sisters always buy it for you.

Sister Rules: “Thou shall calm me on bad hair days”

My sister is my decorator!

- i love you because you may not say it, but i understand, its lonely away from home

- i love you because you are genuinely happy for everyone, even if they aren’t happy for you

- i love you because you’re right out of a 50’s flick, complete with all the chivalrous touches

- i love you because you think anything and anywhere can be fun and that it’s never about the money

- i love how you try and say big words only to stumble and laugh at the sound of them

- i love how you take care of everyone even though sometimes you need it more yourself

- i love how you are so happy with what God has given you and that you are not materialistic at all

- i love how you say “yeh kya hua” in the middle of almost everything

- i love how you sing cheap indian songs without knowing what they mean

- i love how you spend time flicking strands of your sprayed hair to get the right look

- i love how you come home and before anything else give me a hug and tell me that you missed me…
[and even after hearing it for almost two years now, it still feels like I've heard it for the first time every day!]

25 Random Things I Love About Me:

1. I type with one finger

2. I’ve split my chin badly twice; once at the age of three when I jumped off a truck thinking I could fly, and then at the age of 12 while I was doing a complicated dance twirl in front of my mirror.

3. I can be very Monica-ish and Bree-ish

4. I have always gotten along better with guys than with girls

5. Thinking my dad missed having sons, I named myself Faisal and Khaula named herself Abid when I was 16 and she was 13, and we actually called each other by those names

6. I am very insecure and feel overshadowed by very successful people

7. I hate it when people judge success by the job one has and the money one earns and how much one travels. I hate people who try to one-up others with their fake over-worldly achievements. These things do not make a happy, genuine human being and are meaningless in my life.

8. I would love to have my own studio and shop/cafe some day where I would create canvases, make messy art and own a huge press for printmaking

9. I love dancing for my family…think the wildest, craziest dancing to the cheapest songs ever

10. I’m working on a book that I dream will make me famous some day

11. Dark chocolate and coffee, you had me at hello!

12. I never forget a mean comment, and I never forgive it either [I’m still working on this, but till then don’t cross me]

13. I always wanted to learn how to play the drums

14. I don’t think I’m very good at moving on.

15. I have eaten dog biscuits because I was dumb enough to believe my cousin when he said it was chocolate

16. I am crazy about cats and awestruck by elephants and sharks

17. I love the early morning time and get up at 5 am for work every day

18. I have always loved my star sign – Scorpio. I feel it defines me completely.

19. I almost died at the age of 6; 108 fever and sleeping on solid ice is all I remember. [Thank you God, for all the years till now]

20. I can do the bridge pose in yoga

21. When I was younger I always used to wonder what life would be like if I married a foreigner. Life is great ☺

22. I’m addicted to The Sims 2 [and other time management games]

23. I’m a completely different person at home than what I show in public, and by completely different I mean you would not recognize my personality! I am the nutty one at home!

24. I called myself Ginger Spice in my A-level years

25. I fall for the stupidest advertisements and gimmicks even though I majored in Communication Design

i try to make my valentine’s day as cheesy as possible…because if you can’t laugh out loud with the person you love, it’s not worth it!

so among lots of red hearts all over the apartment, messages scrawled on mirrors, and freshly baked muffins with a secret message and other silly gifts,
the perfect way to celebrate seven months and one valentine

When you’re the crazy one in a group
and your nuttiness is so very catchy,

There are a few moments in life
when your husband will stop, in shock
and wonder…

what MORE about your personality
does he still have to discover?

pizza out of a cardboard box,
salad bar dressing with
a bottle of coke

no fancy dinner
no expensive night out

a small heater,
hot pink wooly socks with
betty boop pj’s…

a candle burning in the center,
a single rose in a vase…

the first hug of coming home,
the laugh for all times,
the tears in my husband’s eyes…
unexpected, unreal

catching me off guard…
i cry…
this is the best anniversary ever!

happy six month anniversary to weepy ol’ us…

While we were returning from an absolutely exhausting couple of hours that we had spent at the Commune, Kat asked me, “Do you feel married?”
I promptly replied,”No, do you?” to which she quickly said “Me too” after which we started laughing.
“But why do you think its like this?” she asked after a few minutes.
“Maybe cause we’ve known them for a long while?”

And I do believe that. I have moved to my own place, away from my parents and sister. Away from a life where I did not have to worry about money and bills. But even so, i do not feel very “married.” That does not mean that i’m not excited or happy, it just means that living with F has come so naturally that it doesn’t seem like something has changed.

I credit this to havinig known F for almost seven years now, and I’m sure Kat has known U for a long long time too.

F and i were always friends; we hung out with the same people, i helped him with the more difficult liberal arts courses and he talked to me about his life back home. Over the years we spent more time together, worked on our campaigns for college together and became better friends.

I never looked at him as someone i would marry one day, but when that day came, i was extremely happy because it all felt so familiar. I feel that we have been through so much that where our friendship is concerned that its what makes atleast me feel “not married”. I love referring to him as my “husband” and going out for dinners as a married couple etc…so its not a matter of being childish or being in denial…

It’s not a very easy feeling to explain without others criticizing you for it, and i can’t even put it in words.

But what i’m simply trying to say that whereas i might not feel like i’m married; i do feel that its the greatest feeling ever to marry someone you’ve known for so long…

I wonder how long it takes to stop being obsessed with ones own wedding photographs…

Every day I manage to look at the wedding pictures around the apartment and a completely surreal feeling starts to stir…one that I have come to enjoy very much…

I still can’t bring myself to change my facebook picture to something else either…

I don’t know if my thoughts are silly, ego-tistical or beautiful in a very simple way…

I don’t think that this “disease” is common only in our country…i think it has something to do with cultures and mentality…so hear me out…

I have noticed that when people get married, others who meet them after some time generally don’t have anything nice to say, with the exception of those few friends, cousins etc.

People generally greet you with “Oh you’ve gained weight…it happens to everyone,” or “have you fought yet? it will happen soon enough,” or “enjoy this time, its not always this good.”

Is it just me, or are people really that unhappy?

Now I have been living in this country and have witnessed countless aunties and even certain friends so I am more aware of this behaviour than my poor unsuspecting husband from Iran.

His first brush with this was when he went back to college as he started work again only to come back home and say,
“You know it’s so strange…i met some people and they asked me, so how’s married life?”
“Yes, that’s what everyone will ask you” i replied.
“That;s fine, but when i said it’s great, they said “yeah yeah, its always great in the beginning, then you’ll gain weight and now the real life will start and then you’ll see how many problems you will face” Are people here always like this?” he asked.
“Yes. They are.” I said point blank thinking of how just the day before someone had told me i had gained weight, and when i had said that no i hadn’t actually they said they were saying it just like that.

i wonder how many of us say NICE things “just like that”

The next time he went he met someone else and was again faced with the question, “So how’s married life?”
Again he replied “Great.”
Again he got the same reply “that’s what everyone says. Oh you’ve lost so much weight. Doesn’t maria cook well?”
This time he lost his temper, “Why does everyone say that.” he raised his voice at the person, “why can’t you accept that we are really having a great time and are happy, and that i’ve lost weight because i wasn’t well…”
The person apparently surprised at the outburst quickly told him that our culture makes us talk like this.

Are we that sad? That we say horrible things and call it our culture?

So to all those people out there who have nothing better to say to newly married couples other that how fat they’ve become or how miserable their life will be or any other pearls of wisdom, please don’t say anything because we are not interested!

To all those newly married couples who get as irritated as I do when this happens, please know they are just jealous because we are genuinely happy, because we know that life will throw problems at us but that doesn’t mean we will focus only on that, and because we are actually not as fat as they’d like us to be.

when i tell someone that i have had no time to breathe even, they give me a look….”you just got married, you must be relaxing” uhhh…no actually i’m not…

yes marriage is great fun, and it’s like this game you’re playing only you keep wondering how long its going to seem like a game…

so i mentioned the wedding went by smoothly, and then we come to the after wedding “first dinner” hosted by my phoppo’s…
F and i had spent our first night back at the apt after 3 days at the Marriot where both the wedding and valima took place…

the dinner was a cosy immediate family affair and when we got there i looked longingly at the table where my cousin’s were seated before following farzad to the other table where all the grown ups were seated…sigh!

F and i had a flight the next morning….due to his passport issues our sri-lankan-malaysian honeymoon was not to be and we had decided to go to bhurban for 5 days and chill there….so our flight was at 6 am the next day….

halfway through dinner my dad, who was sitting between my mamoo and F’s dad called F over to him…i could see them whispering and started getting agitated as i coiuld see my cousin’s and sisters laughing at the other table….maybe this was my chance to escape to them… as i was about to pick up my purse, F came back….
“your dad told me not to tell you but i thought i should….there’s been a bomb blast in islamabad, and apparently there’s chaos at the airport….a lot of security measures being taken….your dad is waiting for a call to let him know if the car that will pick us up at the airport will be able to come” F said to me

i just looked at him…we had packed…we were all set to go….this was so not happening…i took a deep breath….

“well…i have a better idea….why don’t we cancel our trip?” i smiled at him
“WHAT?” F obviously looked shocked….oops….
“well, your parents are still here…they aren’t going back to iran till next week…my parents and your parents are constantly going to be stressed about us…especially if they keep watching the news….if there is a security issue we’re also going to feel stressed righ?”

F nodded “but this is our honeymoon….we’ve already had to make a compromise….i can’t do this to you” he said sadly….

i smiled again…marvelling at my ability to be so level headed when all i want to do is scream and shout….

“yeah but i thought that maybe we can get our PC bhurban booking transferred to PC karachi and stay there for 5 days…it’ll be fun….no cooking, no making the bed….we can be all touristy…” i looked at him expectantly….

F smiled….”you know…you really are the best….i love you…”

[this is always so good for my already escalating ego]

thus our bhurban plans ended there and then….our parents were thrilled….they thought it was the smartest decision we could have taken…[ego goes up again ] but even though everyone around us expressed their relief, i had a slight twinge in my heart….

yes it was my idea, but i also knew that a honeymoon after a certain amount of months or even a year is never the same….it will be fun, yes….but its not the same….

i don’t regret it…i know some people don’t even get an opportunity to EVER travel, and a honeymoon is not what makes or defines a marriage….
i could never figure out that “twinge”, considering everything was my call and idea….

sometimes i feel that these compromises have put me in a position to never face disappointments with a heavy heart…i like to accept them and bounce back, and without these past few months and the many experiences, maybe i would not have been able to do so….

we checked into PC the following morning….

it was the “funnest” five days we could have had….we dressed up, went to the hotel restaurants, took pictures of ourselves with a self timer, roamed about the hotel, went to visit F’s family and relaxed…things we might not have been able to do otherwise…

and for malaysia, thailand or any other exotic place, there’s always the rest of a lifetime…