He usually forgets most little things I ask him to do over the course of a day. Yet he has this amazing ability to catch me by surprise and remember the ‘randomest’ thing I might have said during the week.

Despite his goldfish memory, he manages to remember things that he feels strongly for; an example being a watch recently gifted to him by my dad. Wanting a watch for a very long time, this was almost like a dream come true.

That night the watch was sacred.

It was stared at and admired every few minutes. It also got a very special place on the side table, lest he forgot it the next morning. [Usually things are kept on a small shelf under the mirror.]
The watch however was a tad bit loose on him and needed to be adjusted.

The next day the first thing he did as he got up for work, after he had taken a bath, was wear that loose watch and when I asked him why he was wearing it if it didn’t fit, he promptly replied, “So that I can get it fixed on the way back home!”
He walked out; happy with the metal on his arm only to return a few minutes later with a sheepish smile, after I called him, as he had promptly forgotten to take the CD I had asked him to give someone.

Not surprisingly, when he returned home that evening, the watch was adjusted and snugly resting on his wrist. ☺

Despite this “memory flaw,” I have been amazed at times when F takes care to cover the tiny details that he knows would impress me. His remembering what scents I like when I might have randomly pointed them out to him, might seem simple enough, but to me they are an extremely touching gesture.

Sometimes I’ve had to bear the brunt of his forgetfulness and deal with his impatience too.

I remember once when he was going to Park Towers to pick up some groceries I had asked him to stop, at my sister S’s place which is close by, and get the latest season of Ugly Betty DVD’s for me.

Quite some time had passed since he returned so I decided to call and check where he was. “I’m just leaving S’s house in 2 minutes,” he had said on the phone.
“Did you get Ugly Betty?” I asked him and received a surprising, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” response.
I told him I had mentioned it to him before he left our place and he must have forgotten. Annoyed he replied, “Now I have to go back and get it.”

I didn’t understand his irritation as he was still at my sister’s place and it would take all of 2 minutes to ask her for the DVD’s.

It took him another twenty minutes to return home, looking all irritated at what he had gone through. I just ignored him. Sifting through the bags and groceries I asked, “So where is Ugly Betty?”
Surprise and then a “pinging” of recollection flickered over his face, “You wanted Ugly Betty? I thought you said Agar Batti, and I went back all the way to Park Towers to get it.” He replied holding 4 packets of the strong smelling incense.
I didn’t know whether to scream or just stare in wonder, but 15 minutes of extreme laughing did take over at that point.
No wonder he was irritated at me on the phone.

Episodes like these have made me feel more for this guy and realize just exactly why I love being with him.

For our anniversary this year we had decided not to get any gifts for each other and just dress up and go out for dinner, indulge in a mini photo-shoot after wards and write a letter to each other for next year’s celebration.

The place of choice for dinner was Pompeii, like always.

Pompeii has history. We’ve been going to that place since we got engaged; yet we never go casually. We always go on an event, like an engagement-anniversary or birthday and we always dress up for it.

For me, it is also the place I have usually gifted him things he’s always wanted but never indulged in like his phone or his Ipod.

On the way to dinner, F produced a bag for me. I was really touched, as we had specifically decided on NO gifts. He said he just didn’t feel right about it, considering it was our last anniversary as a couple-couple and he wanted to get me something to let me know how much he loved me and how happy I made him. The surprise gift; a scent I loved and had casually pointed out at body shop a few days earlier, and a gorgeous smelling perfume of his choice. [I don’t usually buy perfumes for myself so this was pure indulgence.]

After a great dinner, we headed home and had our mini photo-shoot. And just as the clock struck 12 mid night, I asked him if he had written the letter for me.
Confidently he replied, “I’m writing it. It has to be very special. Can I give it to you before the baby comes?”

I smiled at him knowing full well he was lying through his teeth, knowing full well I would say ‘that’s fine’ to him, also knowing full well that I really loved him and that he would somehow manage to give the letter to me before the baby arrived!

And to me he’s definitely “All That,” and a whole lot more.

F and I finally got our own apartment; we’re in a good place in life; both our careers are working out great and now Inshallah expecting our first baby very soon. We definitely have lots to be thankful and grateful for.
There are still times I can’t believe we’re having a baby – our very first baby! As butterfly inducing that thought is it scares the gajeepers out of me sometimes.

I remember the day I took THE test. It was about 5:30 am before I left for work on some January morning. I didn’t even bother with breakfast. I just had to know. I let F sleep while I scampered about.
The 7-minute wait was the longest of my life, but at the end of that wait I saw the lightest, palest line I’ve ever seen. And to me it was a screaming RED. It was no doubt the best day of my whole life. F couldn’t believe it; the reality just wasn’t sinking in!

When mom came to pick me up, I blurted it out to her and she also took time to digest it interjecting her awe with happiness and surprise and wonder and a whole lot more. It was so exciting!
I literally walked on air all day; it was a secret and I was in on it and I didn’t care about anything else.

One of the best moments was telling my sisters. It was over tea at moms one day when Kay was back from NY for holiday and we were all in the kitchen. I asked Kay when she was coming next, and she gave me a vague “maybe August” answer. So I asked her again and as she and S shot me an exasperated look I said to them, “Well maybe we can have my baby shower then.”
And the rest got drowned in squeals of excitement.

It’s been many months since that exciting day, and everyday has brought with it more magic and wonder. Some obvious ups and downs have also plagued life, but then isn’t that life?
The awe and wonder have also brought with them realizations.

Many, many realizations.

It has made me understand, among other things, what kind of mom I’d eventually want to be or at least aspire to be, the kind of mom I don’t want to be, the kind of person I’d like to be for my kid, the kind of parents I see in me and F, the kind of life I imagine with F after the baby has come etc. etc.

During my initial stages of pregnancy I was advised by the doctor to take it easy due to an early miscarriage risk that ALL pregnancies carry. Very routine advice, but one I couldn’t follow strictly as there was much going on around me.

At that time, the school that I taught at was working very hard to put up their annual school concert, which due to unforeseen events had been postponed from December ‘09 to January’10. Me, being in the Art department had to deal with props, and costumes, and characters and sets along with my team. To top it off I was also in charge of the stage plan and who was acting in each scene, since I knew the names of all the children.

I still remember being in a daze as I’d be on my feet all day helping sort out things, return in the evening, stand during the entire show, help change props and go home utterly exhausted only to repeat all that for two more consecutive days. No body at my workplace even guessed that I might be pregnant and I kept mum about it too.

I was very lucky to have had a great First Trimester. I sailed through it, Allah Ka Shukar – no morning sickness, no fatigue. It was actually a very good trimester.
Then as soon as the second trimester hit, my migraines flared with a vengeance. I’m not one of those people who used to throw up when they got migraines. I just need a dark room and silence and I’d be okay. And anyone who suffers from migraines knows this!

But this time round due to my hormones being all crazy my doctor warned me that the migraines could induce vomiting. And that is exactly what happened to me. It was not pleasant and I was asked to take a week off from work to recover. Needless to say everyone at work as a result found out that I was pregnant.

Then started the barrage of “oh what a bad pregnancy you’re having” statements.
No look at how I pulled through a concert during the first 3 crucial months of the pregnancy, no mention of how well I was handling the teaching, standing on my feet from 7 in the morning to 1:30, just a glimpse at my one week of doctor ordered rest. Considering I’ve seen people go through much worse, I always thanked God that I wasn’t going through something unbearable, thus the comments irritated me more.

It really shouldn’t have bothered me in the first place, but the fact is it did. If someone doesn’t have anything nice to say, why say something at all?

So this made me think of quite a number of things, both good and bad that I’ve heard and learnt over the past couple of months from various people around me.
Sometimes I think I react more [and yes I will totally play the pregnancy card here and say it’s because I’m definitely more sensitive at this point in life] but sometimes when I relate what happened to F, he tells me I have every right to react the way I do.

So here goes.

• Family always manages to give the best reactions over anything pregnancy related. If you have sisters then you’ll know exactly what I mean!

• Sharing a pregnancy with your sister is the single most frustrating, yet rewarding adventure waiting to happen. ☺

• Cravings? Nope. Never had them. I could and still can, eat anything and everything called FOOD.

• Listening to the heartbeat of your baby for the first time ever is by far the greatest feeling in the world and nothing can compare to it, except maybe seeing your baby for the first time.

• The treatment you get when you’re pregnant is great. People worry for you, ask about you and are generally interested in what’s going on. At a point like this when you’re already so emotional, family really works wonders to sort you out. And if you have friends who can be added to that support system, well, pregnancy just got better.

• Pregnancy makes you find whiny people slap worthy.

• Sometimes it takes a negative turn to make you realize how strong you truly are. And every negative turn brings with it some positive outcomes you may not have ever imagined.

• Lend a deaf ear to people who tell you that life is over after a baby. I had people tell me that after I got married too. My elder sister calls those people who say such stuff “extremely sad individuals” who managed to do nothing to make their life better. Yes, life changes but why must it be a morose and sad change? I can’t imagine thinking along those lines. Tough and challenging I can deal with; depressed and whiny needs a kick in the butt.

• When I found out I was pregnant, the first talk I had with F was concerning my job. Since we live on our own, my parents are working people and my in-laws are based in Iran the best decision was for me to quit my job. F was totally for this. He grew up in a country where the concept of a maid just didn’t exist. Even I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving my baby to a maid while I went to work – I’d just never be able to do it, my mind would never be at peace.
I did have a lot of people telling me I’d regret my decision and I’d burn out, but this was something that honestly I didn’t even debate. I always wanted it to be this way. I think mom’s who continue to work after having children if they have the set-up, support and help to do so are great. And I think that mom’s who quit their job to devote their time to bringing up their baby are EQUALLY great. You can burn out both ways or you can keep the fire on. It’s what you choose to make of the situation you’ve decided on.

• The common notion “I want to be nothing like my mother” I feel is over rated. How would you feel if your baby grew up and uttered those very words to you? Not cool.
I think my mother has done the best job in the world and while I’m a different person who may have different opinions, I will never let her feel that I think her decisions were all wrong and she has no clue anymore. I love listening to what she has to say, I love involving her in my decisions, I also love arguing with her to prove my point. So while I won’t be exactly like my mother – I would love to be an updated little version of her.

• All that stuff I used to read about being overly emotional during pregnancy, well, it’s TRUE. Small things affect, and comments and jibes from people can seem larger than life. This is the part where F comes in to make everything okay. He listens to my constant tirades about people and their insensitivity, helps me sort things I have in my head and reasons with me till I’m all smiley again. Thank God for husbands, especially during pregnancy.

• Many times instead of a simple “oh congrats, we’re so happy for you” I get to hear, “First babies are so easy. It’s the second or third time round you get tired since you’re running after one already, you just don’t have energy like the first time.”
These individuals have “clearly” forgotten what it was like to be pregnant for the first time in their lives. And while I do agree that having a kid to deal with must be tough during a second or third pregnancy, no matter what anyone tells you, first pregnancies might be EASY in terms of rest and sleep, but you’re still going through everything for the first time and it can be totally overwhelming. It’s your experience and you shouldn’t let anyone make you feel like its nothing big. Why must everything become a competition? Every pregnancy is special in its own way, and yes first timers do need to feel that bit extra important. ☺
*And if you can’t ignore individuals like that then retaliate with a sickeningly sweet smile and say “But you’ve had more years of experience dealing with a kid/kids, and you’ve gone through pregnancy before too, so you should be having an easy time yourself!”
Tit for tat and in this case they totally deserve it.

• From the moment people find out you are pregnant, they will start commenting on your weight. Whether or not your weighing machine or your doctor tells you you’re gaining weight, the super sonic vision of others will tell you that you definitely are. No matter what, people will tell you at every stage how huge you will become and that nothing will fit you as the weeks go by.
My sisters and I always wondered how people could comment on others weight so publicly. It is the single, most rude thing we have ever come across. I mean does one not have anything else to say?
And what makes it worse is that now I’ve noticed that men have also started with this commenting. Nothing to turn you off a man faster I think and any man who comments on your pregnant state is totally devoid of class, and will definitely understand how it feels when his wife gets pregnant and he has to console her when others call her fat.
So this will follow you as you notice people tell you how fat you’re looking. Instead of getting worked up, I usually feel sorry for them. Take pride in your pregnancy weight gain because you know it’s your baby getting bigger, and all that extra weight is totally healthy as long as it’s monitored.
At least I have a reason in my belly, an amazing human reason that I’m growing. What’s their excuse?

• Never let anyone make you feel that they have a tougher job raising 5 kids while you’re pregnant with your first. Those people need to be deleted from your life if they cannot be happy for you without passing silly comments.

• People who start conversations with “Ab pata chalay ga” need to be kept at a large distance.

• People who give fun information and lend an attentive ear need to be put on speed dial.

• Ultrasounds can definitely make you cry, as did mine. Especially when you and your husband realize that the fuzzy skeletal alien you see dancing on the screen is all yours.

*Please remember me and my peapod in your prayers.

But I am a big, big fan of World Cups; football, cricket both. And have been since about 1994 when I first saw Oliver BierHoff in the German team. Since that year, Germany has been the team for me!

What gets to me is that in those 16 years I’ve never witnessed what I’ve witnessed this time round, and maybe its all due to the advent of Facebook and people being so vocal about what they think.

You see when I watch a match; I watch it because I love football. I might not understand it the way hardcore fans and “club match-watchers” might, but I love it all the same and for me the World Cup years are the most exciting. I usually forget names of players from other countries over the four-year break – but come World Cup season, after a few days I know what I need to know about the Round of 16, the best players of the tournament and everything else I feel I should know.

I still remember the sheer elation I felt when Germany beat Argentina in 2006 in the quarter finals and how a friend of mine supporting Argentina was so depressed that I didn’t even shove it in his face. And I also remember when Germany lost the Semi’s to Italy, how that friend called me up and just laughed on the phone.

It was that very year F and I had gotten recently engaged and I remember we watched a couple of the matches together; especially ones where Germany played. We were both die-hard German supporters – and mind you, not the vocal “we will beat the shit out of you,” or “In your face” comments kind of fans. We both loved the German team for the way they played and treated the opposing team with respect. I loved how we could spend time discussing the way a game was played considering that my knowledge of football was mediocre compared to F’s, who’s been a football freak since birth. It was also that year that F and I decided that in 2010 we’d be in South Africa to watch the World Cup, for our third anniversary. It was the perfect plan.

Four years later, 2010 changed our plans dramatically. Needless to say we didn’t make it to South Africa – but for reasons that have their own thrill [reasons which deserve their own post.]

This year F and I are watching our first World Cup together. And it’s been amazing so far. F comes from a country where people are football fanatics. Their country has yet to make a mark in the sport, their spirits run very high. According to F many Iranian’s are big German supporters.

This was also F’s first exposure to what I will call the “Pakistani Mentality” towards football. Like I said earlier Facebook is THE place to see what kind of people live in Pakistan. From status updates to groups you can pretty much tell. Now I love my country and its people because I really think Pakistani’s have great potential no matter who they are. But what I just don’t get is this possessiveness over everything.

Ever since I was a kid I’ve found it difficult to talk about a sport with people, some family, some friends. Generally people have this attitude of “You don’t know anything. Mujh say Poocho!! I have been watching football since I was a kid.”

I find this attitude extremely egotistical and ANNOYING. Recently when I told someone I was supporting Germany I got a, “Name one German player in your team, do you even know who they are?”
Another time I got, “Argentina ka final haii. We know football’s psychology. You don’t even watch the clubs play.”

And yet the underdog teams I’ve been supporting so far have all made it through. Hmmm!!!! And Germany THRASHED Argentina. Hmmm!!!
I’m glad I don’t watch the clubs play. ☺

F’s take on this so-called self-ownership by other people of the game was blunt. He claims it’s just the ego. And from an outsider’s perspective, he claims that the only things he dislikes about Pakistan, as a country is the ego of its people. Considering he chose to live here, he says he LOVES everything despite all the issues we are plagued with. He just thinks it’s the EGO that prevents the positive.

F said that in Iran you’ll never even hear this kind of talk about how “buffoons who don’t watch football all the time suddenly become interested during the World Cup.” He said its just crass and ignorant talk that people who want to make themselves feel important indulge in. Over there it’s all about the spirit of the game and sportsmanship.

And this is it. Yesterday when Germany KILLED Argentina; I decided to update my status for the first time since football started. I usually stay away from publicizing my football preferences, but yesterday was just too tempting considering how much I love the German team.

It was so disappointing to see statuses writing off the World Cup; claiming the “right” kind of people were not interested in it; suggesting people who knew nothing about the game were watching it and calling it idiotic.

I don’t understand why people cannot simply enjoy a game and let others enjoy it too.
What difference does it make whether someone knows who Pele was and what significance Maradona has and what the bloody history was? Yes, it is exciting knowing all that, I agree, but what’s the harm in just watching a match and supporting a team once every four years? No harm.

This is why I again thank God, I ended up with a guy who is a hardcore football fan, but in front of whom I’ve never felt silly or belittled where football is concerned. He explains everything to me and if I give my theory I know he will never tell me he knows more than me.

My questions of “Don’t the players get thirsty,” “Don’t their shorts come off some times?” “Why do they spit so much?” “Do they smell bad?” “Do they change in half-time?” “Are they allowed to go pee during the game?” and many such more are all answered with a small smile, but a correct answer with an explanation. ☺

Sure I might know the players for their looks more than for their abilities. But usually by the middle of the World Cup I know my players, my team, my history and that makes me as much a football fan as any Man.United, Chelsea, Barcelona or Liverpool supporter.

Considering these big sports usually have an anti discrimination message, here’s something for the “REAL” football fans,the grumpies; DON’T DISCRIMINATE.

Anyone can be a football fan. Even if its just every 4 years.
It’s a great Sport. Share it!

Live and let Live -
For the Love of Football.

Give your sister the correct footwear, and she’ll conquer the world.

The best thing about having a sister is knowing that you always have a friend.

What sis says: “We need to look for new clothes!”
What sis means: “I want to borrow your cute new shirt”

Sister Rules: “Thou shall not photograph me while I’m colouring my hair!”

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship – Iris Murdoch

You know you’re the younger sister when…Your parents announce you have no curfew!

You should never look down on a sister except to pick her up.

Sisters believe in you unconditionally.

Sisters may share the same traditions, holidays and family times, but their memories of the same family events are often so very different!

Intuitively she seems to understand my every need…including my need to borrow her clothes!

Sisters are the people that know all about you and still put up with you!

Laughing with your sisters is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.

You know you’re the older sister when…You let her win the fight even though she’s wrong.

Little sisters are reminders that wishes come true!

God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends!

Intuitively she seems to understand my every need…including my need for some serious retail therapy with her!

Sisters are like different volumes of one book.

You know you’re the younger sister when…you don’t need to buy any makeup. Your older sisters always buy it for you.

Sister Rules: “Thou shall calm me on bad hair days”

My sister is my decorator!

- i love you because you are genuinely happy for everyone, even if they aren’t happy for you

- i love you because you’re right out of a 50′s flick, complete with all the chivalrous touches

- i love you because you think anything and anywhere can be fun and that it’s never about the money

- i love how you try and say big words only to stumble and laugh at the sound of them

- i love how you take care of everyone even though sometimes you need it more yourself

- i love how you are so happy with what God has given you and that you are not materialistic at all

- i love how you say “yeh kya hua” in the middle of almost everything

- i love how you sing cheap indian songs without knowing what they mean

- i love how you spend time flicking strands of your sprayed hair to get the right look

- i love how you come home and before anything else give me a hug and tell me that you missed me…
[and even after hearing it for almost two years now, it still feels like I've heard it for the first time every day!]

25 Random Things I Love About Me:

1. I type with one finger

2. I’ve split my chin badly twice; once at the age of three when I jumped off a truck thinking I could fly, and then at the age of 12 while I was doing a complicated dance twirl in front of my mirror.

3. I can be very Monica-ish and Bree-ish

4. I have always gotten along better with guys than with girls

5. Thinking my dad missed having sons, I named myself Faisal and Khaula named herself Abid when I was 16 and she was 13, and we actually called each other by those names

6. I am very insecure and feel overshadowed by very successful people

7. I hate it when people judge success by the job one has and the money one earns and how much one travels. I hate people who try to one-up others with their fake over-worldly achievements. These things do not make a happy, genuine human being and are meaningless in my life.

8. I would love to have my own studio and shop/cafe some day where I would create canvases, make messy art and own a huge press for printmaking

9. I love dancing for my family…think the wildest, craziest dancing to the cheapest songs ever

10. I’m working on a book that I dream will make me famous some day

11. Dark chocolate and coffee, you had me at hello!

12. I never forget a mean comment, and I never forgive it either [I’m still working on this, but till then don’t cross me]

13. I always wanted to learn how to play the drums

14. I don’t think I’m very good at moving on.

15. I have eaten dog biscuits because I was dumb enough to believe my cousin when he said it was chocolate

16. I am crazy about cats and awestruck by elephants and sharks

17. I love the early morning time and get up at 5 am for work every day

18. I have always loved my star sign – Scorpio. I feel it defines me completely.

19. I almost died at the age of 6; 108 fever and sleeping on solid ice is all I remember. [Thank you God, for all the years till now]

20. I can do the bridge pose in yoga

21. When I was younger I always used to wonder what life would be like if I married a foreigner. Life is great ☺

22. I’m addicted to The Sims 2 [and other time management games]

23. I’m a completely different person at home than what I show in public, and by completely different I mean you would not recognize my personality! I am the nutty one at home!

24. I called myself Ginger Spice in my A-level years

25. I fall for the stupidest advertisements and gimmicks even though I majored in Communication Design

so among lots of red hearts all over the apartment, messages scrawled on mirrors, and freshly baked muffins with a secret message and other silly gifts,
the perfect way to celebrate seven months and one valentine

There are a few moments in life
when your husband will stop, in shock
and wonder…

what MORE about your personality
does he still have to discover?

And I do believe that. I have moved to my own place, away from my parents and sister. Away from a life where I did not have to worry about money and bills. But even so, i do not feel very “married.” That does not mean that i’m not excited or happy, it just means that living with F has come so naturally that it doesn’t seem like something has changed.

I credit this to havinig known F for almost seven years now, and I’m sure Kat has known U for a long long time too.

F and i were always friends; we hung out with the same people, i helped him with the more difficult liberal arts courses and he talked to me about his life back home. Over the years we spent more time together, worked on our campaigns for college together and became better friends.

I never looked at him as someone i would marry one day, but when that day came, i was extremely happy because it all felt so familiar. I feel that we have been through so much that where our friendship is concerned that its what makes atleast me feel “not married”. I love referring to him as my “husband” and going out for dinners as a married couple etc…so its not a matter of being childish or being in denial…

It’s not a very easy feeling to explain without others criticizing you for it, and i can’t even put it in words.

But what i’m simply trying to say that whereas i might not feel like i’m married; i do feel that its the greatest feeling ever to marry someone you’ve known for so long…

Every day I manage to look at the wedding pictures around the apartment and a completely surreal feeling starts to stir…one that I have come to enjoy very much…

I still can’t bring myself to change my facebook picture to something else either…

I don’t know if my thoughts are silly, ego-tistical or beautiful in a very simple way…