The Incomplete Chronicles of a Hyper Bride – Reality Bites 01/11/07

I don’t think that this “disease” is common only in our country…i think it has something to do with cultures and mentality…so hear me out…

I have noticed that when people get married, others who meet them after some time generally don’t have anything nice to say, with the exception of those few friends, cousins etc.

People generally greet you with “Oh you’ve gained weight…it happens to everyone,” or “have you fought yet? it will happen soon enough,” or “enjoy this time, its not always this good.”

Is it just me, or are people really that unhappy?

Now I have been living in this country and have witnessed countless aunties and even certain friends so I am more aware of this behaviour than my poor unsuspecting husband from Iran.

His first brush with this was when he went back to college as he started work again only to come back home and say,
“You know it’s so strange…i met some people and they asked me, so how’s married life?”
“Yes, that’s what everyone will ask you” i replied.
“That;s fine, but when i said it’s great, they said “yeah yeah, its always great in the beginning, then you’ll gain weight and now the real life will start and then you’ll see how many problems you will face” Are people here always like this?” he asked.
“Yes. They are.” I said point blank thinking of how just the day before someone had told me i had gained weight, and when i had said that no i hadn’t actually they said they were saying it just like that.

i wonder how many of us say NICE things “just like that”

The next time he went he met someone else and was again faced with the question, “So how’s married life?”
Again he replied “Great.”
Again he got the same reply “that’s what everyone says. Oh you’ve lost so much weight. Doesn’t maria cook well?”
This time he lost his temper, “Why does everyone say that.” he raised his voice at the person, “why can’t you accept that we are really having a great time and are happy, and that i’ve lost weight because i wasn’t well…”
The person apparently surprised at the outburst quickly told him that our culture makes us talk like this.

Are we that sad? That we say horrible things and call it our culture?

So to all those people out there who have nothing better to say to newly married couples other that how fat they’ve become or how miserable their life will be or any other pearls of wisdom, please don’t say anything because we are not interested!

To all those newly married couples who get as irritated as I do when this happens, please know they are just jealous because we are genuinely happy, because we know that life will throw problems at us but that doesn’t mean we will focus only on that, and because we are actually not as fat as they’d like us to be.

~ by maya on June 16, 2009.